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How to be a Bridesmaid – How to be a supportive bridesmaid and dealing with an emotional/difficult bride
Being named a bridesmaid isn’t simply a nice gesture or an honor, it’s a major undertaking for the maid. Bridesmaid are the glue that holds the bride together, offering support, planning events, running errands and helping the bride to make key decisions. There are good and bad ways to be a bridesmaid, particularly if you are working with a difficult or emotionally unstable bride. Here is a short list of things you can do to keep the whole affair on track.
- Throw/plan all the necessary parties: This means making sure you organize the bachelorette, bridal shower and any important lunches or dinners well in advance. Of course you want the brides input on certain matters, particularly about what is appropriate for her and what she will be comfortable with, but your initiative will take a lot of stress of her plate.
- Help whenever you can: If invitations need to be mailed, stamps licked, gift bags put together, flowers picked up or seating charts delivered, volunteer to do it. The best way to help an emotional bride maintain her cool is to get things done swiftly. If she has to wait for someone to offer help or begin bothering people to do things, she will begin to get a little more than frazzled.
- Be proactive: If you see your bride getting into a spiral or stress and even anger, take her away from it. Planning a day of relaxation close to the wedding date is a great opportunity to alleviate the pressure from everyone. Invite all the maids and make a day of it. If it’s close enough to the date, it will also provide a great opportunity for the bride to get her nails done.
- Eyes open: On the big day make sure the bride looks her best. Ensure she is bustled when necessary, her hair is together and that you have a tissue or two on hand. Be prepared to offer words of encouragement before she walks down aisle and have a back-up plan if she panics and thinks she can’t go through it (and plan a graceful exit strategy if you think it will be necessary!)
- Stay sober: At the end of the night you’ll want to have your wits about you. Be coherent enough to pick up anything the bride may have accidently left behind and be sure all the guests have a safe ride home. Although you may not get the kudos you deserve for all your thoughtfulness and efforts, you’ll feel better knowing things are under control.
Being a bridesmaid can be a tough and thankless job. Brides choose their nearest and dearest friends to fulfill the role, and sometimes that choice is made out of sentiment, not practicality. Be prepared to have fellow bridesmaids who are slackers and be willing to pick up that slack. Your role is to take away some of the work and a great deal of the stress from the bride. Make sure her wedding day is all about her and not the just the details of the wedding.
